In Too Deep
by The newbie phan
Summary: Erik's thoughts on his deciet to Christine. He is filled with remorse and is trying to plan a way to get this off his chest without tearing Christine's heart and sanity to shreds, OR make a fool of himself. "I can't decieve her any longer. What am I to do?" Nervous humor, slight outrage, and fluff. One-shot! E/C. ALW/Kay, plus some of my antics w/ Erik. Enjoy!


A/N: Hey all you awesome readers out there! So, I got incredibly bored under the subject of science, and figured that as a reward to me AND to you, that when I finished, I would post this one-shot that I started last year. I know, "A year for a one-shot?" well, here's the deal: After throwing everything into a dark corner in my closet to attempt to 'clean' my room, I eventually got busted by my 'angelic little bro', therefore leaving me with no choice but to actually ORGANIZE my stuff. Organization is meant to keep you in order, and to help you to keep track of stuff, right? NUUUHH-UUUH! I couldn't remember where I stacked away all my fan-fics the next week. So I eventually got over it, then forgot about it, and during one of my 'raving-cravings' for a post, I went through this box of random items on my highest shelf in the closet, and find like 3 of these scrunched up at the bottom under some stuffed bunny my mom gave me. So here I am with the finished score, ready for you to skip over my babbling, and get on with the whole point of my now extensively long post. XD I hope you all enjoy, and help me reach my quota for opinions! Constructive criticism is most wanted, though a little frank-post is always needed to keep me in check. Lolz. Please read+review! I own the words, none of the characters, or original storyline. :*( Not even Erik… Excuse me while I sob… (Erik: This is your chance to get on with the story and ignore her incessant rambling! Apparently, she is quite emotionally troubled at the moment. I'll go comfort her so she could actually be presentable for you guys. …) (Story is in Erik's POV)

*oO000000000000000Oo*

_**In Too Deep…**_

Conflict.

I've had just about enough of it,

Seeing as though I apparently exceed in the physical sense, for I am strong as I am ingenius.

Well, with the exception of the conflict between my skin and bone across my face.

This face…

Conflict… Conflict…

What should I do?

I can't deceive her any longer…

Yet, I feel the urge to.

Only to continue this exceeding bliss I've cocooned myself in with her.

Oh, she would DESPISE me if only she knew what I truly was…

A monster…

A beast…

A freak…

An… An exhibit…

A mangled face, secluded in the crowd. Or, secluded FROM the crowd in my case.

A Phantom…

But she would hate me more if she heard it from someone else. Someone who put 2 and 2 together… Maybe a certain someone who instructs my corps de' ballet…

Oh, what am I to do?

Rejection, fear and loathing are all inheritable on my part now.

Just as it was when I was a little boy.

A young, innocent, ignorant child, with a hateful mother who never even exposed the secret of my face to me, until I had dared to rebel against the rule of the mask.

If my own mother despised me, what makes her any different?

It would break her heart to know that her father had NOT, in fact, sent her an angel.

But to find that she befriended a thief, murderer, new found terrorist of her home, and deformed, misshapen beast, would surely cause her to go mad with rage and hatred… For… Me…

THAT would be my undoing.

My final curtain.

My long lived loneliness would at last be confirmed as permanent throughout my whole life.

But once I tell her, could it be the point of no return?

Would I never be able to go back to being her invisible angel? No. Of course not.

She would hate me, and then dance on my grave.

In which I'd be, rightfully, dead, and STILL sobbing.

Whatever she feels, is projected onto my own emotions, and magnified 10 times larger.

When she feels hate, I'm filled to the brim with black rage.

When she is sad, I am sobbing tears as big as Carlotta's mouth right next to her.

She will be both these things when and if she finds out.

And that means, I will die of emotional overload.

And as I sit in my private box, #5, and gaze at her form, in that beautiful gown, which still isn't worthy of her, I am also trying to find a way if, in an emergency, she finds out about me. The real me. A carefully devised plan to tell her the truth without having it end in tears and rage.

So far, I haven't found a worthy solution.

"_If you ever find a moment,_

_Stop and think,_

_Oooof,_

_Meee!"_

And as the aria fades to a closing, so do I.

I figure that if I get even more attached to her, it will be even harder to let her go without a fight.

So tonight, I shall start out by at least showing her that I am not an angel, or celestial being, but a man.

True and clear as her beautiful eyes.

Her eyes as bright as stars, and deep as space.

I race to her dressing room mirror, sweating bullets.

WHAT IS THIS?!

A boy!

Quite a fop, I see, too!

Why, that heap of blonde fluff won't know what hit him!

'_No, Erik, she's not yours. She has her own life…'_

'_Well, if it wasn't for me, she'd still be sobbing over her father's grave every morning before practice! She'd have no career either!'_

I know it was rude, but it was true. I suppose I gave a new meaning to the phrase,"brutally honest".

Still warring with myself inside, I hardly notice how they are speaking in pet names.

'_So, she couldn't even confide in her angel about her suitor, hmm?'_

Well!

"Remember when we first met, I lost my scarf in the ocean, and you swam out to get it? My, my, what a rebellious young man you were! You governess would have been fit to be tied, had she not been looking at a shop!"

My Christine, flirting with this lowly lump of hair-jell.

It's unthinkable that a girl as innocent, passionate and intelligent could _possibly_ be drawn to this brainless brat!

She should know better…

"And so, we go to supper tonight. 10 minutes to get ready, and the coach will be waiting outside, Lotte"

"No, Roaul, wait, I can't, the angel of music is very strict-"

"I'll see you in 10 minutes, Lotte!"

And he slammed the door.

Looking quite defeated from my perch behind the mirror frame, she slumped over right where she stood.

She took the hem of her sash and clutched it in what looked like frustration.

She started mumbling some sort of gibberish about how drastically people change over 12 years, and how pushy the nobles are.

My thoughts came flying from my mouth before I could use my common sense and keep to myself.

"_INSOLENT BOY,_

_STRANGE YOUNG SUITOR,_

_BASKING IN YOUR GLORY!_

_IGNORANT FOOL,_

_THIS SLAVE OF FASHION!_

_SHARING IN MY TRIUMPH!"_

Oh god, what was I saying?!

_MY_ triumph?

I may be the maestro, but _she_ sang it!

Now she'll be angry at me…

Oh no!

"_Angel, I hear you,_

_Speak, I listen, stay by my side, guide me._

_Angel, my soul was weak, forgive me,_

_Please, come at last, master."_

Master? I hoped I would never hear that word again!

She didn't know, it's not her fault.

So, I spoke words of comfort, to soothe her. To tell her I wasn't entirely furious at her. No, I was furious at the pig with lipstick who came romping around her dressing room.

"_Flattering child, you shan't know me,_

_See why in shadow I hide,_

_Look at your face in the mirror_,

_I am there inside!"_

This is it. Time to completely let her down…

I didn't know if she'd need coaxing, so I lured her to the mirror with my coincidentally angelic voice.

"_I am you angel of music,_

_Come to the angel of music…."_

It must have been at least ten minutes, for that swine was attempting to break the door down with his muscles as strong as wet noodles.

I opened the mirror into my realm, but flinched my hand away slightly, and made a visual effort of looking over her shoulder at the door (with distaste and disapproval written across my face, of course. Or, lack thereof).

Giving her the last chance to turn me down and run off to her lover boy.

Why, I haven't a clue.

It just seemed like the right thing to do.

She turned her head and cringed obnoxiously at the door where the idiot was still jiggling the handle.

She took my hand with a face full of dignity.

"Let us leave him. He's too pushy to be taken seriously anymore. I suppose he changed since he was seven."

Wait, seven?!

She had me thinking they had been together recently…

Although, she didn't even know I was there until my mini-rant, which also seemed to cloud out half of their conversation.

I just looked at her, shocked.

If only I was wearing my full face mask,

she obviously noticed the deep red color that crept over my cheek.

She squeezed my hand a little bit and giggled.

She obviously got the point of my blush.

"No, ange, we were not courting. Why would you think that?"

"I…You-…uhhh…"

BLAST IT ALL! BLAST IT ALL TO HELL! MY FIRST TIME SEEING HER IN PERSON AND I SOUND WORSE THAN THE BUMBLING BUFFOON ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE DOOR!

She laughed a little again. Oh, how I adored her laugh…

"It's alright, angel. I understand what I might have insinuated on to you. Now, let us go, shall we?"

"I…Sure-…"

And so, I pulled her along behind me singing of what I really, truly was.

And she welcomed it with open arms.

Once we were down to the lair, she created the worst possible case in front of my very eyes.

"So, you _are_ the Phantom of the Opera? You are the one who has been running amuck through these walls?"

She folded her arms and smirked at me with this devilish, playful look in her face.

"I-…. Uh, would you be mad if I said y-yes-s-s?"

She poked my arm with that same gleam in her eye.

"Well, had you not had a good reason for throwing my home into a tissy, then, maybe. You did have good motivation. Rrrright?"

She winked at me a little bit, making the, 'This will be our little secret…' gesture.

"Rrrright…"

And for the first time in a long time, I laughed. A REAL laugh. Not the maniac bellows of insanity I shared with the crowd of scared managers and ballerinas, but a REAL laugh.

And thus, transpired the best night of my life.

I once used to say that I couldn't, in fact, be a real living, breathing man, reaching out to her. That I'd never be more than a slight of mind or conscience

I can't believe how stupid I was when I said it.

A/N: And that, is my second one-shot! Just a little nervous fluff, huh? Erik: You're not gonna spazz again are you? I have a student waiting, you know. Me: Oh, yeah. _Her_. No Erik, I guess you can go and… Run away again…! *Sob sob* Erik: Ugh, woman get a hold of yourself! What she was going to say was that she hopes you all enjoyed the story, and that she wishes you all would leave a review. C'mon, you guys, is it that hard? Send some love, readers, I never got any, but she could. Me: Awww, Erik! Thankyou… Erik: Okay, I'm gonna go now. Don't go bipolar again. Me: Okay. Erik…*dreamy look*

THANKS FOR READING AND I HOPE YOU ALL ENJOYED THIS! PLEASE REVIEW!

-Your obedient servant,

TNP3


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